When I sent those words they were not to you. They were to the Universe; to my love. “I must not lose you”. I must not lose the feeling of being in love. Of loving someone so completely that our bodies become one. That it is so reciprocal there is no doubt. I must not close my heart to the pain of love. I must remember to take the daggers to my chest because they remind me that I feel. That I live. To fully feel the heights of joy I must also embrace the terror and pain of grief.
I must remember how it feels to be held by you, because
closing myself to the pain of that means closing myself to being human. To
meeting another and making myself vulnerable to them. To being held by them,
and loved by them, and loving them in return.
I understand that now, Love. I miss you so much.
