Something is not quite right with the world. I don't know what to make of it. I finally have my bedroom more or less how I want it (after 10 months), I have the study and the kitchen approaching muster, and I have a brewing cupboard (major achievement!), but something still isn't quite right.
This morning I wore my nice new clothes from East and Monsoon, and secretly fantasised about buying household items from Heals on my lunchbreak. I even - momentarily - considered a manicure. All in all I feel quite the domestic goddess. But something is nagging at me and shattering the good feeling.
I'm in trouble again at home. Now, I could say that there are other reasons for this person's bad mood - transferance, anxiety, PMT - and I do believe that they all play a part. But the fact remains that after only two weeks I'm in someone's bad books.
Ostensibly the problem is that I'm not cleaning enough. Or tidying. Or doing some other domestic thing. The painful rub is that I am. I'm cleaning like a bastard. I'm sugar soaping, scrubbing, wiping, removing the paint marks from lino, mopping, hoovering, polishing and washing. Yet it doesn't seem to be enough.
I refuse to ostentatiously brandish the hoover. To chase someone round the house vacuuming under their feet. To huff and sigh and tramp off into the kitchen to do the washing up. Quite frankly that's childish. I hoover and mop when the house is empty. I scrub and wipe paint flecks without comment. I clean the bathroom when I brush my teeth at night so it is pleasant for the morning.
In short, I do all my cleaning in private.
Is that what the fucking problem is? Does nobody trust me unless they watch over me? Do I have to arbitrarily shuffle items on the side to make things look different and therefore "clean"?
Give me a break. Any idiot can do that.
What most morons don't seem to be able to do is to wash the skirting board once in a while. Clean the fly specks off grime-encrusted glass, bleach the fucking toilet, wash behind the U-bend where it is filthy, clear the stinking drains. Those are the invisible jobs that I do, and so far all I am is villified for it.
Well fuck you.
